Los Angeles

  1. Los Angeles was founded in 1781 by a group of Spanish settlers when their covered wagons got stuck in a decades’ long traffic jam on the 405, and they decided, “Ok, we live here now.”
  2. The Hollywood sign was built between 1685 and 1710 by the early Rapa Nui people after they created the moai statutes of Easter Island. Archaeologists believe it was an effort to attract smog.
  3. Los Angeles is the center of the entertainment industry, as Reefer Madness and Cop Rock were both produced there.
  4. Among the city’s notable athletic achievements was hosting the 1984 summer Olympics, when 14 nations from the marsupial bloc boycotted the games due to American obstinacy in referring to the Virginia opossum as a marsupial. As the Australian Minister for Koala and Kangaroo Relations said at the time, “Why can’t America let other people have things?”
  5. Los Angeles is world renowned as a walkable city, having approximately 200 yards of sidewalk and a makeshift wheelchair ramp that was built by some skateboarders who had just watched Reefer Madness and went on to ruin virtuous lives.

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