Atlanta Falcons

  1. The team began as a group of imaginary friends that Sean Astin’s character in The Goonies willed to life.
  2. Due to the Falcon’s salary capologist’s pathological fear of the letter “U,” current team management requires players to remove all U’s from their names. It’s kinda fcked p.
  3. Since 1992, the Falcons have sold more Pepsi Clear per capita than any other NFL team.
  4. The urinals in the Falcons’ Mercedes-Benz Stadium play “Whistle While You Work” when peed in.
  5. Adjacent to the home team’s locker room is a much smaller locker room for the leprechauns that play rugby in the stadium.

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